T´aarof - تعارف
T´aarof means „to get to know each other“. It is a way of denying one's own will to please the opposite.
T'aarof is a Persian form of courtesy. You must be able to correctly interpret T´aarof because it has different meanings.
T´aarof includes social behavior towards other people.
For example: If a someone opens a door for another person. It would be totally rude, if the person passes immediately, thanking her / him. The person needs to say a few times, "No, you go first." Of course, both of them continue to insist that the other one goes through the door first.
Another example: A shopkeeper may initially refuses to quote a price for an item, suggesting that it is worthless ("ghaabel nadaareh"). Logically, it just means, that the customer has more value for the shopkeeper than the goods. T'aarof obliges the customer to insist on paying, possibly several times (3 times), before a shopkeeper finally quotes a price and real negotiation can begin.
T´aarof may cause misunderstandings between both parties and can be a source for awkward situations in a social setting.
For instance, if one friend offers a ride to another friend only because they are being polite, they may become stuck in the situation if the friend agrees to take the ride. Now the driver has a big problem. Most likely he is taking the friend, inwardly cursing. According to the rules of T'aarof the friend should have rejected the offer at least 3 times.
Vice versa, it can also lead to misunderstandings, for example, an Iranian comes to visit us and he is not yet familiar with the habits in Germany. We ask him if he wants to drink something. Using T´aarof he refuses. We would then say: "if you get thirsty, you can let me know," or "Here is the refrigerator, just take something!" The Iranian will now wait in vain that again something is offered to him and will go back home thirsty.
T´aarof also governs the rules of hospitality: a host is obliged to offer anything a guest might want, and a guest is equally obliged to refuse it. This ritual may repeat itself several times (3 times) before the host and guest finally determine whether the host's offer and the guest's refusal are real or simply polite.
It is possible to ask someone not to T'aarof ("t'aarof nakonid"), but that raises new difficulties, since the request itself might be a devious type of T'aarof.
For better understanding this is a funny video about T´aarof:
For instance, if one friend offers a ride to another friend only because they are being polite, they may become stuck in the situation if the friend agrees to take the ride. Now the driver has a big problem. Most likely he is taking the friend, inwardly cursing. According to the rules of T'aarof the friend should have rejected the offer at least 3 times.
Vice versa, it can also lead to misunderstandings, for example, an Iranian comes to visit us and he is not yet familiar with the habits in Germany. We ask him if he wants to drink something. Using T´aarof he refuses. We would then say: "if you get thirsty, you can let me know," or "Here is the refrigerator, just take something!" The Iranian will now wait in vain that again something is offered to him and will go back home thirsty.
T´aarof also governs the rules of hospitality: a host is obliged to offer anything a guest might want, and a guest is equally obliged to refuse it. This ritual may repeat itself several times (3 times) before the host and guest finally determine whether the host's offer and the guest's refusal are real or simply polite.
It is possible to ask someone not to T'aarof ("t'aarof nakonid"), but that raises new difficulties, since the request itself might be a devious type of T'aarof.
For better understanding this is a funny video about T´aarof:
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